Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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