I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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