I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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