ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
