I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I still have a little drunk in my system
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
