suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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