If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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