my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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