My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
