Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
