i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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