Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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