This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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