I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
