yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
