If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
