He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
