Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
These tits shall not be calmed
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
