holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
