She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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