Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
