its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I wish I only lived at night.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
