You're my little dorito
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
this beer tastes like vomit already
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
