i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
