so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
