She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
