When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
