I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I will be naked everywhere
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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