Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
