using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
