remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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