Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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