She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My vagina is officially offended.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
