I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
