so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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