Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I can text with my tongue
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize