If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
