Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize