That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
