No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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