what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
