your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
