She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
