Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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