We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
