I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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