I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
