Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
i've created a new STD.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Randomize
