that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
