Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
