I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
