he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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