this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
