So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
should my penis look like a turkey
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize