i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
