Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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