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I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize