Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize