Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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